PSALM 34 and Update

Psalm 34

I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;

The humble shall hear of it and be glad.

Oh, magnify the Lord with me,

And let us exalt His name together.

I sought the Lord, and He heard me,

And delivered me from all my fears.

They looked to Him and were radiant,

And their faces were not ashamed.

This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him,

And saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him,

And delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;

Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!

There is no want to those who fear Him.

The young lions lack and suffer hunger,

But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

Come, you children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Who is the man who desires life,

And loves many days, that he may see good?

Keep your tongue from evil,

And your lips from speaking deceit.

Depart from evil and do good;

Seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on teh righteous,

And His ears are open to their cry.

The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,

To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,

And delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,

And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

He guards all his bones;

Not one of them is broken.

Evil shall slay the wicked,

And those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.

The Lord redeems the soul of His servants,

And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.

I know this is a long Psalm, but just a couple days after I found out my cancer had metastasized to my brain, I opened my Bible to the Psalms and this is the one I read. It has brought me much comfort the past 3 weeks or so. I read it over and over and over. It is so powerful. I hope that you can draw strength from it too.


I haven't written here for so long, that I don't know where to begin. My life has been overwhelming the past month. It all started at my regular oncologist checkup at the end of September. I mentioned that I had been feeling some pressure in my head that I'd never felt before, especially when I would be picking up toys and such. My doc ordered an MRI immediately. The day after the MRI I found out that there was cancer all in my brain, basically several "small" tumors. Four are at least an inch and the docs say they're small. I had 15 days of radiation. I have lost basically all my hair. I had my head shaved two days ago. It's kind of a neat feeling, but now EVERYBODY knows I have cancer. I'd been able to "hide" it in public all these 20 months because I never had the "look". I still feel pretty good and I don't stress too much abou the disease. I get up each morning and imagine Jesus standing in front of me with this big cauldron steaming and He's holding out his arms to take my baggage and boil it away. I give it to Him and start each day fresh. I know that's weird imagery, but it works for me. I'm still on steroids and have 4 days left of them. Hopefully I'll be able to rest good soon. I'm not sleeping much because they just affect me that way. My brain just won't shut off and rest. I continually am thinking and making lists in my head. It just drives me bonkers!!

So, what I want to say to all of you. Your prayers for me are not in vain. Continue to pray believing that God will's be done. I feel wrapped in a blanket of love and the prayers are being answered. I am able to do pretty much anything I want to. I have NO PAIN. I can be a Mom and wife. I'm able to care for the needs of my family. I am happy. The only thing wrong is the cancer just keeps going places in my body and won't go away. I guess that's just going to be the burden I have to deal with because God is so awesome and powerful and good to me. I am so blessed in every other way that I can not be angry or sad or anything like that. I have a life to live and a family to raise and God gives me the ability to do that. Your prayers to Him on my behalf are just amazing. I can never thank you enough for loving me and my family. WE ARE SO BLESSED BEYOND OUR DREAMS.

This morning is going to be tough. I had my PET Scan on Monday and the dr's office called Tuesday afternoon and told me to come in today. They wouldn't give the results, so I know it's not good. Jill is still here. She was supposed to leave yesterday, but she's staying thru Saturday.
I will try to post the outcome as soon as I can, but I don't know what my "mental" state may be after this morning. I can only go by the fact that I feel good other than fatigue. I'm not giving up ever...........only God knows my last day on earth.

Hugs to all!

It's Tuesday, again!!!

Goodmorning everyone! Yet another Tuesday. Toxic cocktail day. Still waiting to get the good stuff. I've had my liter of fluid and am receiving my Zometa (bone strengthening) right now. The Navelbine is hanging, just waiting to be hooked up to my IV line. My bloodwork looked good today. My hemoglobin was 12.6 this morning, which is well within the normal range. That's why I've felt so good in recent days! Last week it was 11.6, below normal. When I fall below normal, I can definitely feel it. (BTW, normal range is 11.8-15.1) Of course my Red Blood Count is LOW, when you're on chemo, it supposed to be. Everything else was in the normal or High range. I think vitamin supplements really make the difference. I know my diet has been lacking......I made fudge brownies Sunday afternoon and have eaten WAAAAYYY too many.

So, as you can tell from the tone of this post so far, I'm feeling pretty good these days. I'm anxiously awaiting the boys getting into school and Jeff completing school. Our lives are going to be so different in the next couple of months! I think the changes will be good for all of us. We're definitely never in a "rut", but a new schedule for the boys and more time with Pop will be most welcome.

This past week, I decided to read the book of Acts. I absolutely can not remember the last time I actually read it from beginning to end. I'm almost done, but I have to say I've learned a lot from meditating on this portion of the Scripture. I hope to finish the book tonight, and may reread it again right away. The true faith of Peter, Saul/Paul, Barnabas and others is such an encouragement! So many segments of this book of scripture SCREAM, "Let go, and let God!"

Acts 14:19-20 (NKJV)
"Then Jews from Antioch and Iconium came there; and having persuaded the multitudes, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing him to be dead. However, when the disciples gathered around him, he rose up and went into the city. And the next day he departed with Barnabas to Derbe."

WOW! I just keep thinking what it would FEEL like to be stoned, let alone dragged out like I was dead, and then to just "get up" (like nothing had happened) and walk BACK into where the people had just thought they killed me. What a marvelous testament of faith!! What a miracle from God!! Sometimes, I think my burdens are heavy, but no one has tried to kill me and then I would even think to go back and face them right away, before leaving for another place. My God is so good and He blesses me everyday. I have so much to be thankful for. AMEN

Thoughts of peace......

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12 (NKJV)

Thanks for sending me these verses Sharon R.!

Round 1

Hey all! Sorry I haven't been posting, but as usual, my excuse is that I'm just tooooooo busy!! That's a good thing, right? Sorry to keep you in the dark. I'm on Facebook more than here, so the more up to date comments are there.

So, I have completed the first round of the new chemo. I have had 3 doses of the Navelbine plus the Herceptin twice and the Zometa once, and this is my "week off". I go back to start round 2 next week. As far as side effects, I haven't really noticed much other than a bit of fatigue set in last week. I had no nauseau or other issues any of the three weeks, so I think God is continuing to hold me so I can care for myself and my family. I am so blessed in that respect! He is the Almighty.

I have no other thoughts to share at this time being that it's late. I continue to thank God daily for my church families, my families, and my friends who pray for me and my family. I know that I need to update my prayer list to the right......there are so many to add. I love you all!

Update July 2009

First and foremost, I'm sorry I haven't been posting! I have been consumed with summertime activities, travel and doctor appointments. Things are good and many of you have written emails to "check" on me since I've neglected my blog. Thanks for your concerns.

Many of you received my email back in June about the "new" diagnosis, but for those who are not up to speed (since I haven't posted here since May), I have new metastasis to my lungs. I was withdrawn from the clinical study in June and finished that round of my chemo pills. I had an extra week off because I had a trip planned to KY. My oncologist is great to work with me for things like that! :)

Two weeks ago, I began my new treatment. I am now receiving my meds by infusion thru my port again. My chemo is Navelbine and it has little or no side effects. I have had two doses and get my third next Tuesday. So far so good. I am also back on Herceptin again. This drug is because my cancer is estrogen positive and it works with the chemo somehow. I also still receive the bone strengthening drug because the cancer is still in several places in my bones. Basically I go to the hospital on Tuesdays for 3 weeks, then have one week off. This treatment plan is scheduled thru December. I have an appt. with the nurse practitioner next Tues to see how the new treatment is going. I do not have any scans or tests scheduled at this point and I'm not sure when the next appt with the dr. will be. I am thinking I'll get more info on that next week.

I am still not in pain and I feel really good. It was great to visit with lots of family earlier this month when I was in KY. Thanks for all your prayers.....they really keep me going. Although I do not deal with physical pain or ill side effects from these drugs, I still continually fight a mental battle to not let cancer control my thoughts and my life. I do everything I can to continue to be who I want to be, not who the cancer wants me to become.

Also, for those of you who know about the problems I've been having with my vision. I think it has all been corrected! :) I saw the opthamologist on Tuesday and got a good report. I saw my optometrist today and was examined/fitted for gas permeable lenses. They should be in next week and I hope to not have to wear glasses all day anymore!

If you have not recently visited the family blog, I did post a few pics last week. I hope to write more at my next chemo treatment. We had a fabulous time on our travels to KY. Jeff and I had a weekend alone, and we had an extended family weekend (last wknd) at Indian Shores, near Clearwater. The whole family is sporting tans and we used SPF 50 sunblock the whole time, with several reapplications! VBS is this week at our church, so the evenings are long. Jeff's been out of town a couple days on business, but Mom's here til next week to help out.

We are having a great summer!

39 + 1, 10 x 4, 20 x 2 all equal........

Today I am 40 years old. Four decades old. My mind has been thinking of all the wonderful things and not so wonderful things that have happened over the years. I must say that I am so blessed that the adversities that I face are so small in comparison.

I am blessed today because I am celebrating another year of LIFE. A year ago, although I try to always remain positive, I wasn't sure if I would be here today. I am, and I am so thankful!

I am blessed today because I was supposed to go to the hospital this afternoon for my Zometa infusion (bone strengthening drug) but I had to cancel because Brandon became sick (stomach flu- yuck!). I am not thankful he is sick, but I am thankful that I am capable of taking care of him myself. I was able to reschedule for tomorrow morning, which is actually better. I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow morning as well, so only one trip downtown this week. Gunner will be disappointed he doesn't get to go to his friend's house to play this afternoon, but I'm glad I get to spend my special day with my boys. Jeff is not traveling today and will be home this evening with us too! :)

My friend Amy surprised me this morning with a balloon bouquet she delivered personally! I didn't get to visit because of Brandon's illness. She has become a great friend and, Amy, you're the best girl! Thanks for all you do to help me out and all you've done for my family over the past 15 months. You're a wonderful Christian woman and I'm glad to call you my friend! :)

I've received so many cards and Facebook notes on my wall. Thanks to everyone!

It's not bad, I'm not "over the hill", and I'm excited to begin my new decade. I think it will be the best one yet!

Love you all!

Dr. visit

I saw the oncologist yesterday and there are really no changes in my status at this time. I didn't get the copy of my PET/CT scan while I was there, but she said it was pretty much the same as the last one. Not BAD news, but nothing great. I am happy that there are no new places anywhere, but there's no improvement either. I knew I would eventually get to this point so I'm just a little bummed.

I asked about when I might need surgery. She said that there's no need unless I really want to do it or I'm having pain or problems with the tumor itself. She said there is no proven research in breast cancer that shows at Stage IV (metastatic) that removal of the tumor will benefit getting rid of the cancer altogether. So, surgery for mastectomy is my choice. Right now, my choice is no cutting on my body.

Also, she commented that if the next PET (June 10) shows about the same results, I will be changing my chemotherapy again. Unfortunately, I will go back to infused chemo. But for now, all stays the same.

I still feel wonderful (compared to the past year and longer). I just have to keep the mental battle in perspective and continue to do whatever I can with my diet and exercise to keep the cancer from growing and spreading. Your prayers are a definite blessing in my life as well, so please continue those! :-)

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Habakkuk 3:17-19 (NKJV)

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls--
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make me walk on my high hills.

Art

This is Gunner's picture of me seeing my doctor tomorrow morning.

On the left is a scale, then the doctor. I'm laying on the hospital bed getting my EKG, which I will have after I see my oncologist.

I thought this was precious, so I scanned it since he drew it for me to give to my doc.

"Pure Gold"

I have been walking several nights a week with our dog Goldie. Sometimes I even get the urge to jog! I thought about making this post a while back and put it off because I didn't want to sit and copy song lyrics.

Anyway, I've been using Jeff's MP3 player (I do not have my own) and one of my favorite songs to walk to is "Pure Gold" by Earth, Wind and Fire from their Illumination CD produced in 2004 (I copied the lyrics from the CD insert as they were written):

PURE GOLD by EARTH, WIND AND FIRE

WALK IN THE LIGHT
THAT SHINES SO BRIGHT
LET YOUR SOUL FEEL THE RIGHT
OF IT'S PURE GOLD
WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
WALK IN THE LIGHT
WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
BRING SUBSTANCE IN YOUR LIFE
WON'T YOU WAKE, WAKE UP
WALK IN THE LIGHT
WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
WHERE'S YOUR HEART
WHERE'S YOUR PRIDE
HAS IT ALL BEEN PUSHED ASIDE
LAVISH DREAMS, LIVIN' HIGH
WITH NO SUBSTANCE IN YOUR LIFE
IT'S A HARD WORLD I KNOW
SO DON'T GIVE INTO THE LIE'S
OU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A STAR
EVERYTHING YOU NEEDS INSIDE YOUR HEART
CHORUS:
OOH, YOUR LIFE IS SPECIAL
REALLY SPECIAL, YEAH
YOUR TREASURE LYE'S IN YOUR SOUL
TRUTH IN LIFE WILL BLESS YA
(IT WILL BLESS YA)
RICHES COME AND GO
ONLY LOVE IS PURE GOLD
MANY HEARTS, MANY LIVES
HAVE BEEN TOUCHED
WHEN YOU REALIZE
THAT YOU'RE WORTHY
YOU'RE THE PRIZE
BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAL INSIDE
IT'S A HARD WORLD I KNOW
BUT DON'T GIVE INTO THE LIES
YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A STAR
EVERYTHING YOU NEEDS
INSIDE YOUR HEART
(SEE YA) ALWAYS ON THE GRIND
(BUT 'CHA) NEED SOME PIECE OF MIND
(WON'T CHA) SLOW DOWN TAKE YOUR TIME
THERE'S A MILLION WAYS TO SHINE
(WHEN YOU) LET THE WORLDLY THANGS
(START TO) CONTROL YOUR DESTINY
(YOU GOTTA) WAKE UP MAKE A CHANGE
AND THEN YOU'LL FIND
YOUR STARS WILL ALIGN, YEAH
OOH, YOUR LIFE IS SPECIAL
REALLY SPECIAL, YEAH
YOUR TREASURE LYE'S IN YOUR SOUL
TRUTH IN LIFE WILL BLESS YA
(IT WILL BLESS YA)
RICHES COME AND GO
ONLY LOVE IS PURE GOLD
WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
WALK IN THE LIGHT
WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
BRING SUBSTANCE IN YOUR LIFE
WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
WALK IN THE LIGHT, WON'T YOU WAKE UP, WAKE UP
OOH, YOUR LIFE IS SPECIAL
REALLY SPECIAL, YEAH
YOUR TREASURE LYE'S IN YOUR SOUL
TRUTH IN LIFE WILL BLESS YA
(IT WILL BLESS YA)
RICHES COME AND GO
ONLY LOVE IS PURE GOLD

I bought the CD in the summer of 2006 because I've always liked Earth, Wind and Fire's music. Right after I got it, Jeff surprised me with tickets to see them in OKC. It was soooo hot that summer and I was pregnant with Brandon.......this was an outdoor concert. We absolutely enjoyed the concert and had a good time. I don't even remember if they performed this song, but I never really listened to the words of this particular track til I started walking a couple months back.

I just wanted to share it with you because I think you can take these lyrics and apply them to yourself in your own way.

I am so blessed to have so many friends who love me enough to pray for me during the battle of my life. Thank you so much!

Follow-up on "doubt"/upcoming appointments

Wow! I didn't mean for people to think I'm having a terrible time I apologize for how my last post has been received. I was trying to be POSITIVE in showing how I deal with doubt when it tries to creep into my life. I am doing fine people! I just wanted to write to help encourage others who may have doubt in their life.

I was upset when I wrote that post. I had found out that my dad's cousin's wife had passed away. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in January, I believe. I did not know her at all. I know I met her at a couple of family reunions many years ago, but I had been praying for her. I do not know the details of her disease, but I was angry that she was taken by this disease so quickly. My heart is still with their family during this difficult time.

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Tomorrow I have my monthly infusion for my bone strengthening drug.

Next week I have my next PET/CT Scan, MUGA scan and EKG. These are all due again for the clinical study I am in. I will also see my oncologist for an appointment as well.

Otherwise, things are going great. I feel wonderful.......even jogged about 3/4 mile the other night (just before writing the "DOUBT" post). Need to do that again. It sure felt good! I don't know if I'm even supposed to be doing that because of the bone cancer, especially in my right leg. I figure if I feel like doing it and it doesn't hurt that I should go for it. Don't know if I'll confess that to the doc next week..........

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Have a fabulous day! I'm writing quickly as we're getting ready to have a thunderstorm and I want to log off, plus it's time to get Brandon up so we can pick up Gunner at school.

Blessings to all!

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Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you.
Yes, I will help you.
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

DOUBT

DOUBT
A bad word in my book. I've been thinking again. (Oh boy, you say) Jeff was out of town on business for 2 nights earlier this week and rather than sleep, my brain goes haywire thinking about things. I have trouble going to sleep, but once I do, it's all OK til Brandon gets his foot hung in the crib and I have to rescue him! Anyway, on with my actual blog thought that I'm finally getting time to write since I've been thinking......

My little pocket dictionary defines DOUBT:

as a verb:
1 to be uncertain about
2 to lack confidence in: DISTRUST
3 to consider unlikely

as a noun:
1 uncertainty of belief or opinion
2 a condition causing uncertainty, hesitation, or suspense
3 DISTRUST
4 an inclination not to believe or accept

I know that I have doubted lots of things in my life. But I realized this week that when I let doubt creep in, it seems to open the door for negative thinking and in my line of thinking that's letting Satan take control of my thoughts. Not a situation that I like!

I do NOT doubt that my God cares for me always in every situation that I'm in. That's a wonderful feeling to know that the most powerful thing we have is available to us 24/7. All we have to do is pray and lean upon Him. No matter where we are, He is there. The line is NEVER busy. He listens and He answers. We may not get the answers we want, but He always gives us what we need. He knows what is best--we can never, ever doubt that.

We all know the story of doubting Thomas. Thomas was one of Jesus's apostles and he doubted that Jesus was resurrected! We are all capable of saying that we wouldn't have done that in his situation, but yet we doubt things we shouldn't quite often, sometimes more than once a day. I know I have moments.

The last year of my life has taught me to doubt less and less and to focus on Jesus. He is my King! I have tuned in to my faith more than ever and I know it is strong, but it can be stronger. Satan still sits on my shoulder (you know the little devil like in the old cartoons and the angel (Jesus) on the other). Satan doesn't like me now because of what I've learned, experienced and applied. I now know the true power my God has and I am privileged to call upon Him in my time of need. God can win every battle because is all-powerful (remember, Satan is a fallen angel and God created the angels!). I may not win every battle, but I know that God is with me and I have more strength to continue fighting because of that.

So, let's turn to two stories that I draw strength from.

The first, I wrote about last year and is found in Mark 5:21-43. The main story in this text is Jairus' daughter was very ill and died. Jarius believed that Jesus would help him and He raised the little girl saying she was only sleeping. In the midst of this, there was a woman who had been sick with a "flow of blood" for twelve years. She had spent all she had to get better, but was worse. She heard about Jesus and came behind him and touched his garment believing she could be healed. She was immediately healed and Jesus told her that her faith had made her well. She had no doubt that He could heal her.

The second story is also in this book and is found in Mark 10:46-52. There was a blind man who sat begging. He heard that Jesus was near and begain calling to Him to have mercy on him. Jesus asked that he come to Him and the man dropped his cloak and went to Him. Jesus asked, "What do you want Me to do for you?" and the blind man answered that he wanted to receive his sight. Jesus also told this man his faith had made him well. No doubt here either.

Both of these people only knew of Jesus until the time he passed by and they were able to touch him. How marvelous that would be! But even though they had not yet met him, they had no doubt that he would heal them if they could just touch him. We also have the same power available although we can not physically touch Jesus. We know that he cares for each of us. We just have to let go of our pride and let Him take over and help us. It's not up to us -- everything is God's will.

Roman 8:31 (NKJV)
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

April 8 Update

Yesterday I went to my oncologist's office. Unfortunately, she was not in so I was not able to speak directly to her about the results of my last PET/CT scan. I did talk to the PA in depth. I have not posted the info from that report until now because I had many questions regarding the results. I had called the office a week or so after the scan and told "no significant changes" by a nurse. That didn't satisfy me, so I went to medical records and got a copy of the report.

Basically, the majority of the changes on the scan showed increased metabolic activity in my cancer spots. There was one new area in my left breast but everything else was unchanged. The mass in my left breast is still not able to be measured because it's so asymmetrical now.

This news is not as great as what I've received in the past, but it's not terrible either. There are no new areas of concern. The PA words were the bone cancer is "smoldering". The breast cancer, well, it's still there. I asked her if she had an idea of where I may be in my journey with my disease. Her response was that I'm probably about 2/3 thru treatment. I'm actually ready for surgery, but I'm not sure where I am in that journey yet either. She said that my next visit I would be able to see the oncologist and talk directly to her about my questions.

I'm due for another PET/CT scan the last week of April, along with an oncologist visit, an EKG and MUGA scan.

For now, treatment continues with no changes. Thanks for your prayers, calls, cards, emails, etc. I continue to apologize for not updating as often as I used to! I'm just staying very busy with the boys (this week is Spring Break for Gunner) and I'm trying to get things organized that I neglected for so long. I don't plan to write again til after the next round of tests. Love you all!

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This is a long scripture and it's actually referring to the persecution of Christians, but I believe we can still apply it to ourselves as individuals too. Believe me, I fight the devil every day!! Don't you?

I Peter 5:5-11 (NKJV)

"Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for

'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' (Prov. 3:34)

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion for ever and ever. Amen."

GOOD RESULT!

I received the call from my surgeon on Tuesday morning (3/24) that the biopsy of my thyroid nodule has no cancerous or precancerous cells. He wants me to have a follow up ultrasound in 6 months. Hallelujah! Praise God!

Back to the biopsy that I was so concerned about.........it wasn't that bad after all. I did keep my eyes closed the whole time they had the needles out though. The ultrasound tech was fun to cut up with and the radiologist was very nice. He told me when he was done that it "appeared" to just be a cyst. I didn't tell him I didn't want to believe him, I just said "thank you". Getting prepared for the biopsy and waiting after it was done to make sure I wasn't bleeding inside took the longest.

I want to says THANKS again for the prayers. I still haven't heard from my oncologist yet for the results of the most recent PET/CT scan. I left a message this morning with the nurse, and I hope to hear before the weekend.

Scans and biopsy

Hello readers,

Yes, I'm still here and doing great. I'm sorry I haven't posted for over a month. Time flies when you're having fun!

I'm feeling great these days. My last doctor visit, my Xeloda dose was decreased to 1500 mg twice a day. I have almost ceased itching and my peeling hands and feet are healing very well. I had a MUGA scan a couple weeks ago and got the result today. It measures something about the amount of blood that your heart pumps. Anything 50% or greater is fine. My first MUGA in February 2008 was 63%. They kept decreasing and I think the previous was 58%. This most recent was back to 62%! YEA!! :-)

I had an appointment with my oncologist this morning and it was just standard, so nothing new there. I see her every 3 weeks while on my clinical study.

I'm in an "incubation room" right now with an IV stuck in my arm that hurts today. I'm going to have a PET & CT scan in about 30 minutes. I've been injected with the radioactive sugar and am waiting for it to do its "thing" before the scans. I'll be injected with a dye during the CT scan is why the IV is still stuck in my arm. I should get the results by the end of the week or first of next week. By the way I'm hungry! It's a strict diet the day before a PET scan....no carbs at all, green veggies only and lean meat. I miss my bread and fruit and other colored veggies. I ate a lot of cheese, but then you can't eat 6 hrs before the test either. I had cheese and chicken at 10 pm. I shouldn't complain because I still ate more than some people get in a day. I just get really hungry without my carbs.

Mom and Dad are here and have Brandon this morning. I hope they're having fun! Gunner's at school. Jeff's traveling and will be home tonight (he was only gone last night). Mom's making Cajun Red Beans and Rice for dinner tonight! YUM YUM!

Tomorrow's another big day for me. I come back to the hospital tomorrow for the thyroid biopsy. It's a "fine needle biopsy", but I'm still nervous. I HATE needles. The thought of a shot in my neck for numbing purposes and then a needle inserted to the nodule on my thyroid just makes me shiver. I am more worried about the biopsy itself than what the results may be! That's just crazy I know. My oncologist and the surgeon both think it's probably nothing, but I'm taking no chances after what I've been thru the past 13 1/2 months.

I'll try to post the PET & CT results as soon as I can, but don't hold your breath!

Off to Facebook I go for a quick check in.............

Thanks for the prayers!!

LUKE 1:37 (nkjv)

"For with God nothing will be impossible."

Results!

Hey all! Saw my oncologist this morning and got mostly good news....PRAISE GOD! :)

Things with the current chemo seem to be going well. They were unable to measure the tumor in my breast because it is not "well defined" any longer. That is good. It's still there, but it's softening and shrinking! There was not much report on the spots on my spine or femurs, so at least there's not more. My liver still showed no evidence of cancer nor did my sternum. :-)

On to the spot on my thyroid. The PET/CT scans showed more activity this time, but the nodule was not any larger. The activity was not cancerous activity on these scans. My oncologist consulted with my surgeon and he said that sometimes thyroid cancers don't show up on PET/CT scans. He suggested a biopsy. I agreed to that, so, when I return from our Mexico trip, I'll be scheduling that.

In addition, I have been having issues with my hands peeling around my nails and in the creases on my fingers as well as issues with my big toes. These are side effects of my chemo drug. (Did I tell you I just love my oncologist?) Anyway, she said that I could take 5 days off of the chemo pills (our time in Mexico) to let the toxicity of the drug get out of my system and let things heal. Today is my last day of my "week off" in the 3 week cycle. This extra time off is acceptable on the clinical study I'm in, so WOOHOO! I don't have to take two pill bottles with me. I still have to take my targeted therapy drug and the study drug, but hey, I get an extra 5 days off! :) If I get these symptoms again when I start back on the chemo, then she'll look at reducing the dosage.

Thanks again for all your prayers - God is soooo good!
I'm off to finish packing and looking forward to some down time with just Jeff. Mom's here and going to care for the boys, so keep her in your prayers that she doesn't lose her sanity! ;-)

The latest.........

My how time flies! Sorry it's almost been a month since I updated the blog. We have many things going on!! Jeff and I are leaving for a company sponsored trip to Puerto Vallarta this week. Mom is here learning our schedule and going to take care of the boys! Pray for her sanity!! Brandon has started a Kindermusik class one morning each week, and Gunner has started Karate two nights per week. Jeff's back in school and doing the beginning of the year thing with sales, so I just keep everyone in line!

I'm doing fine on my chemo and other meds these days. I had a PET scan last Thursday and will get the results tomorrow at my 3 week checkup with the oncologist. I feel great so I hope there is no bad news, especially since we're leaving on our trip. In addition to the last update, when I received the detailed report, the spot on my sternum was no longer detectable and one of the spots on my spine was no longer detectable. Everywhere else was smaller, so I think these drugs are doing "their thing"! ;-)

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know we're doing fine and apologize for not keeping up. I hope to have a chance to report the PET scan results tomorrow amid packing and such. Have a great day and know that I really appreciate all your prayers and emails!

Hugs to all!

Psalm 51:10-12 (NKJV)

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence,

And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,

And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

:-) :-) :-)

I got the call from my oncologist about an hour ago and I should have been more confident! I received good news!

First, the breast tumor shows 80% less activity than before! She didn't have measurements of the tumor itself, and I will get those on my next visit Jan 14. Anyway, less activity is wonderful! That means that what we're doing is working. :-)

Second, the metastases in my bones looked better. Not a drastic improvement, but improvement nonetheless. :-)

Third, the MUGA was 58%. It measures the pumping of blood thru your heart if I'm not mistaken. As long as it's above 50% it's good. :-)

Fourth, there was a spot on my thyroid that she wants to have looked at. An ultrasound is being scheduled for next Wed. This spot did not show activity on the PET, but she wants to take a look anyway. She said it shouldn't be anything to be worried about. OK, I worry anyway.

Thanks so much for all your prayers, emails, etc. I deeply appreciate your concern for me and my health. I can't believe all that has happened in less than a year. I will soon have my first anniversary of diagnosis. There have certainly been ups and downs, but your prayers have been constant and I can not thank all of you enough. Many hugs go out to all of you!

Love,
Jenny

This is the verse that's been on my heart since before the holidays. Please don't give up praying for anyone who needs it, no matter how big or small the matter. God hears ALL our prayers and answers them all according to His will and in His time.

Galatians 6:9-10
(NKJV)
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith."

I don't like waiting......

Today is Tuesday, January 6.

I had my MUGA Scan on Dec 24 and my PET/CT Scans on Dec 30.

I still do not have results.

I called yesterday and found out my oncologist has been out of town (good for her! she deserves it). I have never had to wait this long for results and I am very anxious.

I was told I should get a phone call today, so my stomach is already in knots just thinking about it.

I don't know why, but I feel bad news coming. I shouldn't feel this way as I know I do believe that I can beat this cancer with the help of God and your prayers, but I think the waiting is just stressing me out.

If you read this, please say a prayer for me today because I need it.

I hope to post GOOD news as soon as I get these results!